WondrousWally

WondrousWally is a long-standing Ravenkraft community member — present as a Patreon supporter by at least October 2023, and, by March 2025, reluctant counsel of record for the most consequential murder trial in server history. He accepted. He prepared. He argued. He lost. The record reflects this. WondrousWally maintains that the system works.

Background

WondrousWally's presence on Ravenkraft predates the trial. He is named among the October 2023 Patreon supporters in the community newsletter, alongside m3lon8r, wizardofire, linatic, and bhelley. The Waleric Hotel in Alpha Centauri IV (region r.1.-1, coords 663/71/−329) bears a name that rhymes with his own; the builder listed in the region is "Waleric," a coincidence the archive has noted and declined to resolve.

Wally Egg

MickyMack's community allay project named every regular. WondrousWally's slot is CMD 50 — the Wally Egg — in the MickyHats resource pack. The corresponding personalised allay skin is pending WondrousWally delivering his Magikarp skin, a transaction publicly confirmed as in progress. No further update has been received.

The Trial of RyanPhantom

When ComradeFeliks suggested that WondrousWally be court-appointed defense counsel for Arctic Emerald — on the grounds that someone had to — WondrousWally's first response was:

"how the hell am I getting volentold?!?!?!?!?"

His second response was also correct:

"fuck it."

Within sixty seconds he was operating as counsel of record:

"I am advising my client at this time to no longer engauge in coversations with the law."

WondrousWally had legitimate procedural concerns. He raised them. He wanted Wizardofire as judge; that motion failed when M3lon8r suggested Linatic instead. He raised the format question: "Is this going to be a trial by jury or a bench trial?" He identified the practical problem of producing a replacement phantom for evidentiary purposes: "we are going to have to use a spawn egg and drop him off in the arena." These were the concerns of a reasonable man who had been voluntold into a murder trial with 24 hours' notice.

The Cyborg Law Offices (MickyMack) prevailed.

Philosophy

The aftermath of the trial produced a statement that belongs in the header of every Ravenkraft document:

"my entire existence is just Fermi estimations anymore it feels like. scuffed as hell, but it keeps working out."

He also filed a separate motion, in a later thread, that requires preservation. Upon MickyMack missing the punchline of a joke WondrousWally had constructed:

"I need to report a murder. Micky just murdilated my joke..."

When MickyMack objected that "murdilated" wasn't a word, WondrousWally submitted an Urban Dictionary citation. MickyMack stated he stood corrected. The motion was sustained.

When a new player arrived and asked how they'd ended up on the server, WondrousWally greeted them: "What unfortunate trap did you fall for to get caught in this place?" The phrasing of a man who has been in the trap long enough to find it comfortable.

Relationships

• Arctic Emerald — client; the accused; should have stopped talking earlier
• MickyMack — opposing counsel (CLO); prevailed; also murdilated a joke; citation on file; holds the Wally Egg pending Magikarp
• Linatic — presiding judge; WondrousWally had preferred Wizardofire
• ComradeFeliks — the one who volunteered him; detective and trial witness
• Wizardofire — suggested as judge by WondrousWally; rejected in favour of Linatic

See Also

• Arctic Emerald — the client
• MickyMack — opposing counsel
• RyanPhantom the Phantom — the case
• Waleric Hotel — r.1.-1, alphac; builder listed as "Waleric"; connection to WondrousWally unconfirmed